Dealing With the Pains of Rejection
“You can’t win them all,” isn’t really a comfort when you get shot down from a job opportunity you had hoped to get. Yet, that’s usually the trite response that comes from the masses as a way to make you feel better. Rejection is a part of life, and it’s definitely a part of finding a job in L.A. This survivor suffered many rejections when entering the workforce here.
The rejections ranged from the small such as getting absolutely no response to the grand such as after several rounds of interviews being told I was their second choice. It certainly feels like first loser regardless.
Rather than being a Bitter Betty or Sour Sal, there are ways to cope with the rejection and keep that half full glass. I’m not talking that whole cliché “when one door closes…” business, but there are positive ways to deal with a negative response. For
example, make sure when you do get the let down from a company, you let them know that you are still interested just in case it doesn’t work out with their first choice. Persistence might work in your favor. Once, I was told that they liked me, but found someone who was a better fit for a retail management position. I continued to show my interest, and politely accepted their rejection. Two months later, a similar secondary position opened, and I was the first one in line for the job and landed it. Don’t show you are hurt or sad, just take a breath and keep a good relationship with the potential employers.
So, maybe this does sound a little cliché, but learn from the experience. Take a little time after your interviews or auditions to examine what went right, and what areas could use some improvement. If you are comfortable with the interviewer, you can even ask what pushed another person over the top or what areas you could improve in from their perspective. Use this experience to gain confidence and work on selling yourself as the best candidate for any job you pursue. While you are working on this confidence, give yourself a pat on the back for making it through the often uncomfortable and stressful interview process.
Another trick to dealing with job rejection is to realize that there are numerous factors contributing to an employer’s decision, none of which are likely personal. They could be looking for someone with just a little more experience in one area or another. You could be overqualified for the position. For whatever reason, you just might not be a good fit at their company. They could be saving you from being stuck in a miserable position that you are too good for. Without directly asking, you probably won’t know exactly why you didn’t get picked, but try to take it in stride. Focus on your good qualities and strengths, and try again.
There is nothing wrong with being hopeful and positive, but after an interview, remember not to put all your eggs in one basket. Hope for the best, and prep for the worst. Lots of people are applying for the same position, if you get called in for an interview, take pride in the fact you are in the top percent. But, don’t rest all your hopes on the position just because you think you are perfect for it. Being ready for the possibility of rejection will soften the blow if it is to happen.
Finally, know whom you are and what you want to do. Don’t get frustrated. No one wants to hire someone who seems put off that they have to be there. Keep smiling and keep pursuing your dreams. Fulfillment of those dreams doesn’t always happen without a little struggle. Nothing makes appreciate your job quite like the search for finding one. So if you struggle to land a job, it will eventually make you a more attentive employee and these employees are the ones who climb the ladder quickly. So, chin up there little camper, there’s always more work in the sea. – Lori Bartlett
Comment by Ms. Mae Ross — August 3, 2010 @ 8:07 pm
Good article. I own an Acting school for kids, teens and young adults. At my Acting Seminars for the parents I bring up the topic ” How to handle rejection.” Here is what I advise: The reality of Showbiz is that your child is not going to get every job they audition for. Before they audition tell your child in a postive manner,” Give this audition your best , smile, listen, be happy, enjoy and have fun. It is not about getting the job as much as doing your best. Of course we all want our child to get hired, however to tell your child to “get the job” can create pressure and anxiety. Your child is like a sponge, they realize how you are feeling so for you to remain upbeat and calm is paramount. Make auditions fun, not a hassle.
The closer your child gets to booking the role and doesn’t the more disappointing. This is the time to remind your child they are GREAT, did a fantastic job and that there WILL be a next time. In fact, after an audition it is best to think O.K. that was good… now what is NEXT? Do not ruminate. It won’t get you the job.
When your child expresses feeling rejected acknowledge their feelings, tell them you understand it is disappointing and let them talk, then move the conversation to something positive like ice cream for a job well done!
Ms. Mae
Owner/Director
3-2-1- Talent Showcase Acting Studios
Los Angeles
818-248-5602